and now i am going to yell loudly about things that i do not heart

I have annoying neighbors. We share a driveway. He looks like Rick AND Bubba, combined. (If you aren't in the South, you prolly aren't aware of these two nasally rednecks that us Southern folk have to endure on every god damned channel on testicle radio. They are another reason I do heart my Sirius.) He's also a preacher and the wife refers to him as "Pastor" instead of his name. It's scary weird to watch them because he makes her do everything! He also has this big huge belly that hangs to the ground and a butt crack I have to see way too often. Anyway. They keep 2 pure bred Dachshunds in a pen that is right by our bedroom window which means they whine and yelp all the mother effing time! Another anyway. They had puppies and because "they love us so much", (we hate them) they just gave us one on Friday and right now as we speak the pitiful puppy is hooked up to iv fluids at the vet and will probably be there for at least a week. Seems the poor thing is completely infested with about 4 different assortment of intestinal parasites that have made the puppy so anemic that her tongue and gum tissue is WHITE. It can barely walk and it's tummy is blown up the size of the Hindenburg. Wonder how much that bill will be? So much for GIVING us a Dachshund puppy. Gee. Thanks. Maybe they secretly hate us and wanted us to be covered in wormy diarrhea?

Second annoying thing: I asked that guy I'm married to if he was interested in some couples counseling to deal with what is going on. He told me he had to THINK about the idea and finally after a few days informed that he doesn't believe we need any counseling and told me he will always be angry. So I had to tell him that isn't any way to have a real solid marriage and that since the legal aftermath is an ongoing process that may not be resolved for a LONG time, and that I spent many years angry and resentful over him cheating on me on MULTIPLE occasions. This, of course, doesn't make a dent in his robotic way of thinking and I guess he was listening to me, but I can't be sure. He never raised his head up or answered me. I am also sick and fucking tired of having to ask him for gas money. I'm sick of being financially dependant on him at all!!!!

I'm foaming at the mouth as I type this.

We went to my evil mother's house yesterday for Easter dinner and all she could do was the usual bullshit; you suck as a daughter, why did I end up with someone like you as a daughter? Blah, blah, blah. I wanted to tell her that she's crazier than Charles Manson but instead told her she needs to relax and just LET GO. All the while I was wanting to let go on her face with the Easter ham.

I still don't have a sponsor. I feel like beating the shit out of someone just to watch them bleed. I also really want an income of my own. Honest, honest confession right now?

Here goes vulnerable Anna: I blew my career to bits and couldn't pay anyone to give me a job right now and I'm waaay afraid I'm going to end up on the street without shoes. Or kids. You can't get kids in a divorce if you are an unemployed recovering addict who is completely blacklisted in a rural small town piece of shit town, AND a wee bit insane.

I'm beginning to choke on all the rabid foam at this point, so I'll go ahead and shut the eff up and wonder why my brain hasn't already blown out of my ears by now.